“I was just kidding,” is the response Retief Goosen has given to the comments he made this week about Tiger Woods’ limping and grimacing during his struggle to victory at the U.S. Open. According to Comast.net, Goosen said, “Nobody really knows if he (Woods) was just showing off or if he was really injured. I believe if he was really injured, he would not have played.” Goosen, who finished tied for 14th at the Open, sounds like a schoolyard bully who has a hard time living in the shadow of the gifted kid. I WAS JUST KIDDING shouldn’t be an acceptable “take-back” of a stupid comment meant to denigrate the accomplishments of someone who cares so deeply about his craft. Gifted kids often face schoolyard bullies who are “just kidding,” and we need to let those bullies, young and old, know that they are the ones who are “showing off”…but rather than showing off skill, they are showing off their ignorance. As a postscript, little did most of us know the whole story about Tiger. According to Comcast.net, “Woods revealed Wednesday he has been playing for at least 10 months with a torn ligament in his left knee, and that he suffered a double stress fracture in his left leg two weeks before the U.S. Open.” I’d say that’s enough to make anyone limp and grimace. As for Goosen, we’ll see if he can finish higher than tied for 14th now that Tiger will be out for the rest of the season. Let’s hope the schoolyard bully focuses on his own game and learns a little something from the gifted perfectionist…class.
June 18, 2008
June 14, 2008
In Praise of Gifted Perfectionism
Have you ever noticed that many people who rise to eminence in their professions are gifted perfectionists? Tim Russert, who is being memorialized as a gifted journalist, used the best traits of perfectionism to intricately learn about the people he interviewed so he could effectively take an opposing view to the ones his guests presented. That perfect planning made watching Meet the Press so enjoyable.
Tiger Woods, who I wrote about in a blog about heroes, is a gifted perfectionist who has managed to rise to number one in golf because of his dedication to improving his game and bringing it to a new level. He probably wouldn’t be number one if it wasn’t for his perfectionism, and he certainly wouldn’t have the legion of fans who love to watch him make shots that seem impossible to those of us who are mere mortals.
I’m sure my daughter’s client (who won asylum to save her from torture) is grateful for Rachel’s perfectionism. I’m sure those of us who enjoy going to the movies are grateful for the perfectionists who bring those movies to life. I’m sure those of us who loved E.B. White’s book, Charlotte’s Web, are grateful for the perfectionism that drove him to write and rewrite drafts of that book.
If we appreciate the fine work of perfectionists, why does perfectionism have such a bad rap? First, we must admit that perfectionists can make the rest of us look bad. But that’s our problem, not theirs. What those of us who are gifted perfectionists need to worry about is the debilitating results of never being satisfied with our own efforts. Parents and teachers of gifted children need to help them understand and cope with perfectionism.
There is a major difference between intrinsic and extrinsic perfectionism. Intrinsic perfectionism is an organic trait of many gifted people that keeps them striving to realize their talents. Extrinsic perfectionism, on the other hand, is the pressure that is imposed on gifted children by parents and teachers. Although some of that pressure is unintentional, the results can still be harmful and debilitating. When teachers put 100% papers on display, and when parents put 100% papers on the refrigerator, they are telling children that what we value is being perfect. It would be better to encourage kids to work hard, take risks, and show improvement. I recommend a small pamphlet called “The Basics of Encouragement.”
So the next time you are around a gifted child who seems to be exhibiting the traits of perfectionism, rather than denigrating the child for this organic trait, try to help the child make the best use of that perfectionism and all of its wonderful potential.
June 5, 2008
A Hero Will Save Me……
HERO. It is such a powerful word! As a highly sensitive person, it takes just the right combination of words and actions for me to think of someone as a hero. There are many people in my life who I deeply respect, yet when it comes to being a hero, two men who I have never had the pleasure of meeting rise to my hero list. One man, at 97, has long-retired from his career, and the other, at just 32, is at the beginning of his. Both men are grateful for the life lessons they learned from their fathers.
John Wooden, was the coach of the UCLA Bruins men’s basketball team when I was an undergraduate at UCLA. He is an award-winning coach who was named Coach of the Century for the 1900’s. While I enjoyed watching Coach Wooden and his basketball teams, he is my hero for his Pyramid of Success and for the life he lived both on and off the court. Framed versions of the Pyramid of Success hang in both my home and my office at Pacific University. According to Wooden, “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you are capable.” While his Pyramid was originally created for adults, he has since co-authored a book, Inch and Miles, that explains the true meaning of success. He very creatively uses animals as metaphors for the building blocks of success. For example, hard work is an ant, enthusiasm is a rooster, loyalty is a dog, alertness is a rabbit, and skill is a spider. Coach Wooden’s words and deeds make him an appropriate example for children and adults alike.
Tiger Woods rises to the rank of a hero because of his dedication to his passions: golf and his Tiger Woods Learning Academy. I remember how much I enjoyed his father’s book, Training a Tiger, and how Tiger had to finish his homework before he could practice golf strokes. Not only is Tiger a great example of a gifted perfectionist (and this is meant as a positive attribute), but he is also making sure that children less fortunate than he was have an intellectually stimulating place to learn important skills.
Two men who care about education as much as I do…they are my heroes. For a great website about heroes, see The My Hero Project website. I’d love to hear about people who have risen to your hero list.
