I am pleased to be able to share my thoughts on this website. I have an affinity for people who are bright, sensitive, and intense, and I hope my insights will help those of you who fit this description. The poem that follows was written by my 28 year-old daughter Rachel and me. This poem explains our experiences as bright, sensitive, and intense people. This poem appears in the December 2007 issue of the National Association for Gifted Children’s magazine “Parenting for High Potential.”
As I approach the 10th anniversary of my brother’s death, I am amazed by the pain that remains for those who survive the suicide of a loved one. I remember reading in Jenna’s Forrest ’s book “Help Is On Its Way” about the suicide of her uncle, and it made me realize that in addition to our sensitivity, we are also connected by suicide. One of the lasting curses of suicide is the impact it has had on me as a mother, and Rachel as my daughter. I found myself searching for signs of sadness, worried that the result would be suicide. This hyper-vigilance came to a head in January when Rachel told me she felt as though she always had to have a happy face for me. She also assured me that she was more resilient than I had realized. The strangest part of all of this was that my fear of another suicide was all at my unconscious level, and now that we’ve had this conversation, I have let go of the fear of losing another loved one to suicide.
I have a passion for reading books about education and self-improvement, and for that reason I will focus on my personal and professional growth through some of those books. When I read Help is on Its Way, I was struck by Jenna’s ability to put to words the feelings of a bright, sensitive, and intense child’s experiences. I saw myself on many of the pages, and my heart broke for the young girl who found safety hiding in the bushes. I hold a book club meeting three times per year for former and current students in my gifted education courses, and next fall we will be discussing Jenna Forrest’s book as part of my Social and Psychological Foundations of Gifted Education course.
In March, we met to discuss the book The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child by Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert Advantage. For those of you who are introverts, you know how difficult it can be to live in a world where you are outnumbered 3 to 1. It is particularly difficult to be an introvert in an extroverted family. An introvert gets her batteries recharged by having quiet, alone time to process her thinking, while extroverts recharge their batteries through interaction with others. The last thing an “innie” who has been at work or school all day wants to do is go right home to a family who wants to engage in high-spirited conversation. For those of you who are introverts, or who love one, this is a great book designed to explain the gifts of these wonderful souls.
I’m looking forward to sharing more of my experiences and favorite books, and I hope to hear about yours.
BRIGHT, SENSITVE, INTENSE: Two Voices
MOM
I am BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE
DAUGHTER
I am BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE
MOM
As a child
I CRIED
The teacher yelled at my friend, Danny
Though he didn’t remember the incident
I HID under the bed,
COVERED my ears
when Mom and Dad argue
Many nights CRYING with GUILT
NEEDING SOOTHING
Others would say
I was TOO SENSITIVE
I needed to MELLOW OUT
DAUGHTER
As a child
I CRIED at the drop of a hat
Others would say
I was TOO SENSITIVE
I needed to TOUGHEN UP
As a child I was
SHY and RESERVED
Others would say
I was ALOOF and a SNOB
MOM
As a teenager
I had STOMACHACHES
Was put on tranquilizers
Why didn’t anyone understand?
I was BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE
I understood early on
My way of being
was WRONG
I needed to be fixed
DAUGHTER
As a teenager
I hated CHANGE
I was miserable when middle school began
The UNFAMILIAR
the potential to be EMBARRASSED
The counselors didn’t understand why I was
TERRIFIED of gym class
Why couldn’t I just have fun like the other kids?
Why didn’t anyone understand?
I was BRIGHT, SENSITIVE AND INTENSE
MOM
As an adult
Others would say:
PERFECTIONIST
MELLOW OUT
Just GET OVER IT
DAUGHTER
As an adult
I WORRY more than most
Still FEEL things INTENSELY
Sometimes wonder why I can’t just MELLOW OUT
MOM
I still feel
CONFUSION
GRIEF
LOSS
My brother
Who
Killed himself
Summa Cum Laude
Phi Beta Kappa
Order of the Coif
DAUGHTER
My uncle who killed himself
Was BRIGHT
SENSITIVE
INTENSE
MOM
He has given me PURPOSE
I am still
OVERWHELMED at times
Perfume,
Diesel,
New carpeting,
Scratchy labels
Bass drums that shake my organs
Yet, now learning to COPE
Deep JOY as well:
The beauty of nature
Learning new ideas
Music lifting my spirit
Friends and family
Who UNDERSTAND
And LOVE me
AS I AM
Now I know
I am NOT BROKEN
And do not need to be fixed
Giftedness is more
I AM MORE
Than an IQ score
DAUGHTER
Now I understand
My SENSITIVITY is a GIFT
I can put forth into the world
It gives me EMPATHY
COMPASSION and
HUMILITY
MOM
I am BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE
DAUGHTER
I am BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE