Bright, Sensitive, Intense

I am pleased to be able to share my thoughts on this website.  I have an affinity for people who are bright, sensitive, and intense, and I hope my insights will help those of you who fit this description.  The poem that follows was written by my 28 year-old daughter Rachel and me.  This poem explains our experiences as bright, sensitive, and intense people.  This poem appears in the December 2007 issue of the National Association for Gifted Children’s magazine “Parenting for High Potential.” 

 

As I approach the 10^th anniversary of my brother’s death, I am amazed by the pain that remains for those who survive the suicide of a loved one.  I remember reading in Jenna’s Forrest ’s book “Help Is On Its Way” about the suicide of her uncle, and it made me realize that in addition to our sensitivity, we are also connected by suicide.  One of the lasting curses of suicide is the impact it has had on me as a mother, and Rachel as my daughter.  I found myself searching for signs of sadness, worried that the result would be suicide.  This hyper-vigilance came to a head in January when Rachel told me she felt as though she always had to have a happy face for me.  She also assured me that she was more resilient than I had realized.  The strangest part of all of this was that my fear of another suicide was all at my unconscious level, and now that we’ve had this conversation, I have let go of the fear of losing another loved one to suicide.

 

I have a passion for reading books about education and self-improvement, and for that reason I will focus on my personal and professional growth through some of those books.  When I read Help is on Its Way, I was struck by Jenna’s ability to put to words the feelings of a bright, sensitive, and intense child’s experiences.  I saw myself on many of the pages, and my heart broke for the young girl who found safety hiding in the bushes.  I hold a book club meeting three times per year for former and current students in my gifted education courses, and next fall we will be discussing Jenna Forrest’s book as part of my Social and Psychological Foundations of Gifted Education course. 

 

In March, we met to discuss the book The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child by Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert Advantage.  For those of you who are introverts, you know how difficult it can be to live in a world where you are outnumbered 3 to 1.  It is particularly difficult to be an introvert in an extroverted family.  An introvert gets her batteries recharged by having quiet, alone time to process her thinking, while extroverts recharge their batteries through interaction with others.  The last thing an “innie” who has been at work or school all day wants to do is go right home to a family who wants to engage in high-spirited conversation.  For those of you who are introverts, or who love one, this is a great book designed to explain the gifts of these wonderful souls.

 

I’m looking forward to sharing more of my experiences and favorite books, and I hope to hear about yours.

 

 

BRIGHT, SENSITVE, INTENSE: Two Voices

 

MOM

I am BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE

 

DAUGHTER

I am BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE

 

MOM

As a child

I CRIED

The teacher yelled at my friend, Danny

Though he didn’t remember the incident

I HID under the bed,

COVERED my ears

when Mom and Dad argue

Many nights CRYING with GUILT

NEEDING SOOTHING

Others would say

I was TOO SENSITIVE

I needed to MELLOW OUT

 

DAUGHTER

As a child

I CRIED at the drop of a hat

Others would say

I was TOO SENSITIVE

I needed to TOUGHEN UP

As a child I was

SHY and RESERVED

Others would say

I was ALOOF and a SNOB

 

MOM

As a teenager

I had STOMACHACHES

Was put on tranquilizers

Why didn’t anyone understand?

I was BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE

I understood early on

My way of being

was WRONG

I needed to be fixed

 

DAUGHTER

As a teenager

I hated CHANGE

I was miserable when middle school began

The UNFAMILIAR

the potential to be EMBARRASSED

The counselors didn’t understand why I was

TERRIFIED of gym class

Why couldn’t I just have fun like the other kids?

Why didn’t anyone understand?

I was BRIGHT, SENSITIVE AND INTENSE

MOM

As an adult

Others would say:

PERFECTIONIST

MELLOW OUT

Just GET OVER IT 

DAUGHTER

As an adult

I WORRY more than most

Still FEEL things INTENSELY

Sometimes wonder why I can’t just MELLOW OUT

MOM

I still feel

CONFUSION

GRIEF

LOSS

My brother

Who

Killed himself

Summa Cum Laude

Phi Beta Kappa

Order of the Coif

 

DAUGHTER

My uncle who killed himself

Was BRIGHT

SENSITIVE

INTENSE

MOM

He has given me PURPOSE

I am still

OVERWHELMED at times

Perfume,

Diesel,

New carpeting,

Scratchy labels

Bass drums that shake my organs

Yet, now learning to COPE

 

Deep JOY as well:

The beauty of nature

Learning new ideas

Music lifting my spirit

Friends and family

Who UNDERSTAND

And LOVE me

AS I AM

Now I know

I am NOT BROKEN

And do not need to be fixed

Giftedness is more

I AM MORE

Than an IQ score

 

DAUGHTER

Now I understand

My SENSITIVITY is a GIFT

I can put forth into the world

It gives me EMPATHY

COMPASSION and

HUMILITY

 

MOM

I am BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE

 

DAUGHTER

I am BRIGHT, SENSITIVE, INTENSE